Neck camouflage

ALEX: Miss Hot Dog, are you wearing that scarf to hide a hickey?

MISS HOT DOG: Alex, I haven’t seen your dad in two weeks.

- Alex, 12th grade

Love scene

Hearing giggles and rumbles from one side of the room, I paused the video the class was watching.

MISS HOT DOG: Marcus, is this love scene making you uncomfortable?

MARCUS: This ain’t no love scene. They just talking and hugging.

WESLEY: Yeah, a love scene is when you get nekkid and do it.

MISS HOT DOG: Out of the mouths of babes.

- Marcus and Wesley, 10th grade

A new perversion

KENYA: Miss Hot Dog, Marcus be over here touchin’ my leg.

MARCUS: I am not!

KELCEY: He do that, he do!  He a molester.  Marcus likes to hump on kneecaps.

MARCUS: (Laughing) I do not!

KELCEY: Kneecap humper!  Kneecap humper!

- Kenya, Marcus, and Kelcey, 10th grade

Nosy

“Miss Hot Dog, you have large nostrils.”

- Danielle, 10th grade

What women want

When I asked my students to describe the marriage between Macbeth and Lady Macbeth, several of them used the new vocabulary word “emasculate.”  (This was my goal!  Score a point for Miss Hot Dog!)  One student “slipped” and pronounced the word “emasturbate” instead.  Another student, a very bright senior, jumped all over him:

“Fool!  Masturbation ain’t got nothin’ to do with emasculation… unless you’re doin’ it wrong.”

- Lauren, 12th grade

White and pasty

“But, Miss Hot Dog is black.  She just looks all white and pasty.”

- Marcus, 10th grade

Lipstick is a good improvement

“That lipstick is a good improvement. It matches your shoes.

…What? I just like to give compliments.”

– Michael, 12th grade